So this is my first blog. Well as a counsellor, I obviously wont be writing exact details about my
Clients. But I will be writing about the whole mystery of Human Development, at least from my own experience. Suddenly, I feel censorship turning up in me. Oh dear! how honest can I be. But we do seem to be moving into a more transparent society, (even if this is mostly enforced upon us!) and one of the things I’ve discovered in my counselling sessions, is that the more self honesty, the more authentic we can be. In many ways, the counselling sessions are a bit artificial, but it can offer a template of how two humans can communicate in a creative, non judgemental way. My own approach is that it is a discovery process between 2 separate unique humans. That its all very well having theories and techniques, but what really works, is having the right attitude. And al the universities and teaching cant give you this. At the end of the day it’s got to come out of your own life. I know that when I first started, I hid behind Theories and techniques, in the same way that culturally, we can hide behind a mask. You behind yours, and me behind mine. So nothing really changes, and it’s all outside to outside. But after a while, I took a risk in a particular session, and spoke the truth to a client, when I said that I was bored, and I wonder if that’s how other people were with that person. It was so curious, rather than the client being angry at my honesty, the client suddenly became very honest about themselves, and from that point onwards, a whole paradigm shift took place in their character. Another early experience like this occurred, in the first session that morning in a NHS clinic. The client had been on tranquilisers for 20 years, and really had what you could describe as a 'grey life'. I had only seen her twice before, and at the beginning of the third session, she said that 'it was ok for me, because I had it all sorted out'! Now it so happens, that I hadn’t got it ‘sorted out' and that my Girl friend had left me that week, and I felt devastated. Totally going against my training, I replied truthfully to the client about the break up of my relationship that week. Also to get through it all, I had to get up a hour early to go for a run, so that I get somehow get some control back into my life, and to be able to attempt some professionalism at work! The Client was so taken aback at this outburst that she got of her seat and came over to me and put her arm around me and said that it was alright. Anyway, the session finished and I saw her the following week. What a change! she wore makeup, she had changed her hair style, in fact she glowed, and said that for the first time in over 20 years, she had stopped taking tranquilisers! She then said that up to the previous week she had thought that she was alone, and somehow my honesty, caused her to do a complete new appraisal about her life. So at the end of this first blog, I’m reminding myself that we humans are designed to deal in reality, and that if we can truly be honest, then something new can emerge, that may even surprise ourselves. Thanks